Have you ever found yourself looking for ideas and helpful comments, only to find that after the first idea or two, they stop offering help?

At a recent client board meeting, involving a review of the team’s opinions on customer service, and how this could be improved, I experienced an ideas logjam. This occurred because the director running the meeting used the wrong three letter word, at the wrong time with the wrong person.

If this is the case, you may find that you are using this dangerous three letter word.
In my studies of language, my mental described this three letter word as the language eraser! What it has the ability to do is to be erase every comment that comes before it.

The Killer Word…

The word is “but”.

Here are some common ways this three letter word damages creativity and stops people from contributing to any request you may make for input.

I agree with you… But…

Yes… But…

I hear what you’re saying… But

In a book I read recently, I forget which, the author calls them “yeahbuts”

Why this is Important

Think about it for a moment. Most people are not comfortable having an argument. Most people do not have the confidence to pour their heart out and have their comments shot down.

As a business owner, you may be different.

However, many of the people you may ask for help, for example your team, your family, your networking group, and even your Board of Directors may not feel as comfortable as you with putting down their ideas.

Yet the evidence is compelling that the people not connected with the project or problem are those that have the best chance of helping you creatively develop an innovative viewpoint, or solution.

This is where breakthroughs happen. This is where insights that are not obvious are hatched.

Once the creative process gets going, and the group has confidence in donating ideas and views, they will continue to do so and flourish. This will increase the number of valuable opinions and views that will be forthcoming.

So whether you are involved in a brainstorming session, a board meeting, the team briefing or a problem-solving session, exclude the word “but” from your vocabulary.

This will take practice, and awareness is the first step to make this happen.
Also, set the same rule for all the participants in the group.

Recommendation for Meetings

Often it is best to let the ideas simply flow without comment and without discussion. Let me correct that. The only Comment that should be allowed is something like “thank you for that”.

Once you have completed several rounds of comments from the group you can start building out those comments, looking to develop new strands of thinking from them.

In meetings where you feel you need to make a comment, substitute the “yes but” with a “yes, and” sentence, which keeps the dialogue open, positive and moving.

Tips to get back on track…

If you have been running meetings using the “yes but” phrase, and have found your team less than fully cooperative and forthcoming, there are a couple of tips to bring them back onside…

1) apologise for missing this finesse point, and ask them to help you avoid using the phrase, by gently reminding you that you have just used it. That will help them open up, and begin to trust the process once more.

2) if you do not feel comfortable apologising, simply avoid using the phrase during your next few meetings, and you will notice that your new behaviour will be noticed, and the group will begin to contribute and open up more. The effect will not be as quick as the apology route, yet will work given time, as long as you consistently following this process.

3) it is important that everyone in the group is aware of this “rule”, because everyone in the group can stop creativity in its tracks by using the “but” word.

4) remember to be inclusive of everyone’s comments, whether you agree with them or not. The time and place to agree or disagree, is not during this meeting, or this part of the meeting. If you feel you do need to disagree, hold fire, and open it up for discussion later, by saying something like… “Help me understand how your idea could get over this problem…” Or a phrase that has the same effect.

While writing this article, I had to consciously avoid using the word “but” at least three times. So even when you are aware of it, it is easy to miss it. It all begins with awareness.
All the best

Gordon D’Silva

As business experts who work with creatives like designers, architects and similar markets, we work closely with owners and their teams to facilitate business improvement and profit increases.

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The client referred to in this article was a creative agency, with a team of 30 designers and account managers. Names withheld for confidentiality.